How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
