I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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