Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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