I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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