about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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