Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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