and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize