i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
