girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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