i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
