And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
