I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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