the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
