We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
