Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
