So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You pole danced in your parka.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
