I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
