is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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