if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
