naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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