She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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