I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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