Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we made out on top of his cat.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
