ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
