I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
