whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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