Kiss
Puke
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
