You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
