Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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