There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
