I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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