One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
