Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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