i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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