if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
