Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got chris browned last night
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
