Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
