You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I smell stomach acid.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
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