I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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