He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
