A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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