he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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