I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
