That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
