i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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