well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
