He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
