she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
