I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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