My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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