So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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