glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
