nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
