Pappa wants mamma naked
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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