Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
